JANUARY 15TH, 2016

A lot's happened to us both in the last 7 months, but not much in the space between us.

The next logical question would normally be "Why?" but I don't actually think it matters, because we're doing what our heart feels.

"If we do what our heart feels, things will unfold as they should."

What's beautiful is that we've probably both listened to Porter late into the night doing work, and there might have been more than a few moments when we were listening to the same song at the same time. Flicker remix right now, for me. 12:49am.

It's okay to forget, as long as we don't forget to remember.

Peace, love, and smiles...always.


I wanted your Molly, but we found Grace

La mia bella,

Grazie. Thank you for centering one of the most magical and mystical experiences I've ever had. When I first saw you, my attention was caught by the most beautiful person I've ever met. But that whole afternoon on the grassy meadow, your thoughts and musings and intelligence and life energy and empathy and positivity held my consciousness and I could do nothing but just watch and observe your life energy light up all the waves and particles and cells around you. I was in a trance, and you were the drug.

And then I saw our minds vibrating at the same frequency, forming one wave of thoughts. We weren't exploring the depths of our minds, we were together exploring the depths of the nature of life. Moments? Yes I too am experiencing the magic of enjoying every moment, knowing that life will serendipitously unfold as it should. Porter? Yes I too have clung onto his music to shield myself from terrors in my mind. Bathroom? Yes I too just peed in my pants.

Now I see. Everything in my life needed to happen so that I could be there, at that moment, to discover that there is indeed another person out there who wants to transcend.

As I came down from our trip (while coming down to Manhattan from our trip), I began to wonder whether our waking dream was reality or drugs. That waking dream can be our reality, it's just a choice that we take to look at reality that way.

As you taught me on the meadow - if we do what our heart feels, things will unfold as they should. Even if our thoughts tell us that what we're doing is small and without impact on the world, or that everything we're doing is wrong and that the world is conspiring against us. Because if we do what our heart feels for a long enough time, then we will find Grace. 

Once we do, we realize that She was there all along, in every "good" or "bad" moment, that we can choose to paint reality with Her brush of positivity until everything we see is dripping with perfectly imperfect beauty. A sunset on a cloudy day paints the sky with textures you'll never see again, a rained out Moby concert creates opportunity for the triumph of the human spirit, and a night without Molly becomes one of the most enlightening lessons of my life. All of these are perfectly imperfect, just like our weekend.

Listening to Hear the Bells yesterday, I realized that he doesn't play any bells in the song. (I know, it blew my fucking mind too.) But listening to this song in the dead of this winter, as I sloshed through the Manhattan snow day after day, sad and dreary but hopeful for the summer, all I heard were bells because I wanted to. 

Once more, grazie. La mia bella, you were the magic that graced my trip.

Peace, love, and smiles,